So you want A Stupid Joke??

Is Bin Laden Alive?

Stupid Patrol — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 21:31:00 +0000

stupid Obama!

After numerous rounds of “We don’t even know if Bin Laden is still alive”, Bin Laden decided to send Obama a letter in his own writing to let him know that he is still in the game.

Obama opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message:

370HSSV-0773H Obama couldn’t figure it out so he typed it out and faxed it to Hillary Clinton. Clinton and her aides had no clue either so they sent it to the CIA. No
one could solve it so it went to the NSA and then to MIT and NASA and the Secret Service… the list got longer and longer.

Eventually they asked Mossad in Israel for help. Cpt. Moishe Pippick took one look at it and replied: “Tell the President he is looking at the message upside down.”

Stupid Bank Loan

Stupid Patrol — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 21:25:15 +0000

A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parked it there. Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41. The loan officer said, ‘We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?’ The business man replied: ‘Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for 15 bucks?’

Laughing horse

Stupid Patrol — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 21:18:52 +0000

There was a bar advertising a contest and a man walked in to find out what the contest was for. The bartender said it is for anyone who could make my horse laugh wins fifty dollars. So the man asked where the horse was the bartender said out back in the barn. The man went out to the barn when he returned he told the bartender the horse was laughing the bartender went out and sure enough the horse was. About a month later the same man was passing the bar and they were having another contest and the man wanted to see what it was so he went in. The bartender said the horse had not stopped laughing since he was last there. The new contest was for who could make him stop got 100 dollars. The man went to the barn and came back and told the bartender that the horse was crying and the bartender went to check. When he returned he paid the man and asked how he had done that. The man replied that the first time I told the horse I had a bigger dick than he did, the second time I proved it.

My First of the night

Stupid Patrol — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 21:16:28 +0000

A guy goes into a bar and sits down. The bartender asks what he will have and the guy says he will have a beer AND a shot. “Big night?” asked the barkeep. “I’ll say. I just had my first blowjob tonight!” The bartender says “That’s great! These drinks will be on the house!” As he puts them down, the guys says “Thanks! These should help get the taste out of my mouth

Train Ride Slap

Stupid Patrol — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 17:46:21 +0000

Enjoy Stupid Train Jokes!

Sitting together on a train, travelling through the Swiss Alps, are a South African, an Australian (both guys), a young blonde lady, and a little old lady.

The train goes into a tunnel & a few seconds later there’s the sound of a loud slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the Australian has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one speaks.

The old lady thinks: “That Australian must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped his cheek.”

The blonde thinks: “That Australian must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady. She slapped his cheek”

The Australian thinks: “That South African must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.”

The South African thinks: “I can’t wait for another tunnel, so I can slap that bloody Aussie again.”

Yep – That was A stupid Joke, we know. That was the point. Here at A Stupid Joke, we look for the stupidest jokes around, and hope to be equal opportunity offenders. Have a stupid Joke? We’d love you to post is here on A Stupid Joke. Did you like the stupid joke you just read? Well – you can add your stupid comment below! Or share it on Facebook, Twitter or any other stupid social network. Spread the Stupid – spread a smile, make the world a better – but stupider place. Also if you like stupidity, check out the Stupid Patrol and Fugly Pictures - those sites are family, and we guarantee – just as stupid as AStupidJoke.com

Smart elderly woman

Stupid Patrol — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 16:15:16 +0000

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist “Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex.”

“But you are not wearing any of those things” replied the artist.

“I know,” she said. “It’s in case I should die before my husband. I’m sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.”

Global warming

Stupid Patrol — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 20:37:12 +0000

No explaination is needed for this one – tis could actually be Global Warming Proof – or just A Stupid Joke!

Global warming proof? You decide!

Birth Control

Stupid Patrol — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 19:33:12 +0000

An elderly woman went into the doctor’s office.

When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.”

Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you’re 72 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?”

The woman responded, “They help me sleep better.”

The doctor thought some more and continued, “How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?”

The woman said, “I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice every morning and I sleep better at night.”

Worth going home?

Stupid Patrol — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 19:31:17 +0000

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, “How old was your husband?”

“98,” she replied, “Two years older than me.”

“So you’re 96,” the undertaker commented.

She responded, “Hardly worth going home, huh?”

Smart Blonde Stewardess

Stupid Patrol — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 17:33:55 +0000

A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew s refrigerator.

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioned in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.

Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, “Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?” Not one hand went up … so she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:

1. Lawyers aren t as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren t as dumb as most folks think